January 10, 2026
Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart.
Rainer Maria Rilke
One of my superpowers is execution, i.e., making decisions, getting things done, and moving fast. I’ve been rewarded for this ability throughout my life, and I take pride in it. But every strength has a corresponding weakness, and this one is no different. There are certain situations in life that require relatively more patience. Some marinating. Some openness, discussion, space to breathe and room to drop in and just be. And in those situations, that superpower becomes a liability, for myself and for those involved.
One of my most common failure modes is skipping needs (what are we solving for) and jumping right into strategies (here are the solutions I recommend). When I’m guilty of this, I miss seeing what’s really going on, and risk closing off an important aspect of conflict — getting it all out onto the table. The key is first recognizing those situations, and second allowing yourself some grace. I have suffered more than necessary when I haven’t come to grips with reality. To use a cooking analogy: for many of my meals, I use a microwave to heat the food (yes, I know it’s not the healthiest, but that’s another topic). The microwave is fast, effective, and convenient. More infrequently, I’ll take the time to prep a meal in advance, allowing a protein to marinate and build flavor. Marinating takes time, requires patience, and often leads to enhanced flavors. I won’t marinate every meal. But occasionally, it’s worth it.
Many situations call for speed. Others ask for time, space, and the humility to not know yet. I won’t marinate every decision, but I’m learning to recognize the ones that require it. Those are the moments where slowing down isn’t indulgence or superfluous — it’s respect, kindness, and healthier.