January 6, 2026
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved… is a lot like being loved by God.
Tim Keller
My daughter turned six today, her golden birthday. As I’ve written about before, she’s an old soul. She’s already imparted a lot of her wisdom on me during her short time on this planet, starting with helping me practice true love. There have been times when she’s let me know, very clearly and sometimes loudly, that I’m not seeing her. Like when I tried to put a frou-frou dress on her for family photos, or when I tried to apply lip gloss on her before we went to a family member’s birthday party, or when I offered her some of my fried chicken — all met with immediate rejections.
She’s saying, you’re not seeing me. I don’t want that. I know now that love begins with understanding. Understanding who someone is, down to their core. And understanding is only possible when you take the time to see someone for who they are — not necessarily who you want them to be, or who society expects them to be. And only then can you accept them, fully, exactly as they are. And then you can embrace them, in a way that feels like love to them.
I love that my daughter loves to play baseball and basketball, loves to read books to her brother at bedtime, loves to do math problems, loves to cuddle and watch football with me, loves to eat bread and butter, and I love everything else about her. Learning to see her, to understand her, to accept her, to embrace her — this is this gift of parenthood, and I know it’s only just beginning. Happy sixth birthday, my love. Thank you for being exactly who you are.