November 12, 2025
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
Nora Roberts
Relative to friends and colleagues, I feel very little shame about asking for favors. Whether it’s for an introduction, a good word to a potential customer, a reference on a possible hire — it doesn’t matter to me. I know some people who are much stingier with their social capital. Not me.
The reason is simple. People are free to say no. Or not respond at all. It’s OK. I won’t take offense, I won’t feel upset, I won’t hold a grudge. You do you. I respect it. But that won’t stop me from taking another shot. The worst that happens is a no, either explicitly or implicitly.
But the upside of asking can be life-changing. It’s usually not, to be fair. But it can be. So why not take such an asymmetrical bet? My only regret is not doing more of this, especially in real life when I tend to be more reserved, quieter, introspective. The doors are waiting to be opened. All you have to do is ask.