The Four Things

December 9, 2025

Please forgive me.

I forgive you.

Thank you.

I love you.

Ira Byock, The Four Things that Matter Most

A while ago I read Ira Byock’s book “The Four Things that Matter Most”. It stayed with me. So much that I made a poster of the four simple phrases in the dining area of my home, where the kids and I recite them. These words are magic. They cannot be said enough.

I think many of us wait too long to say them. Sometimes, we don’t get to say them at all. I’ve made it a point not to wait. Life’s too short, and the right moment is always this moment. Right now.

Ask for forgiveness. Admit you are only human, doing your best. No one is perfect.

Forgive each other. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness frees you from the weight of suffering.

Be grateful for everything, and entitled to nothing. It’s all a gift.

And love — in words and in actions. If you’re not sure how, start by saying it.

Let your heart soften. Doesn’t that feel better?