November 13, 2025
The quality of your relationships is the quality of your life.
Esther Perel
From the outside looking in, it’s easy to think you know what’s going on in someone else’s life. You can make some assumptions, extrapolate thinking based on evidence, create a narrative that sounds plausible. And that’s the problem. Just because it may be true, doesn’t make it so. And in most cases, you have no clue what’s going on for somebody else.
That is a feature, not a bug. That you don’t know what’s going on, and aren’t leaning on a faulty set of assumptions and beliefs, allows you to take the posture of the most generous interpretation. Believe in the best. I have found this default setting of giving people the benefit of the doubt, rather than assuming nefarious intent, helps me breathe easier, and act more compassionately.
Leading with a not-knowing beginner’s mind, filled with positive-tinted curiosity and a willingness to go places that may be uncomfortable or foreign, often determines the depth a relationship can reach. And the quality of those relationships, is the quality of our lives.