January 14, 2026
Your life is the curriculum. But are you signed up for the course?
Will Kabat-Zinn
On the first night of the meditation retreat, Jon led us in a guided visualization. We imagined sitting next to a well, holding a pebble. As we tossed the pebble into the well, we brought to mind our intention for coming to the retreat. Then, we watched the pebble descend through the water, until it finally reached the bottom. And then, we were guided to reflect again on the same intention. For me, upon tossing the pebble, my first instinct for coming was quieting the mind and opening the heart, as Ram Dass would repeat in Sit Around the Fire. But then, when the pebble ended its journey, the only thing left for me, as my reason for taking the time to meditate, was simple: My kids.
I shared this with the group of 75 attendees, and several other parents later came to me and shared a similar reason for showing up. On the final day, Jon shared that “kids are zen masters perfectly designed to push their parents’ buttons.” That absolutely resonates. Just when I think I’ve attained equanimity and enlightenment, my son and daughter remind me gently that I have more work to do. Jon emphasized the inevitability of kids causing their parents suffering. But, he said, most parents take a path of responding that leads to more suffering down the road, in the form of regret of how they responded in the moment. It doesn’t have to be this way. By taking a mindful path now, we can prevent that unnecessary suffering. The grief that otherwise would be carried forever.
This is the beautiful nature of the practice of parenting. It takes a lifetime. We are all doing our best with what we have. By continuing my daily meditation practice, I feel I’m strengthening my capacity to respond with grace, patience, and love. And by showing that to my kids, I’m also helping them consider, even in my absence, “what would Dada do?” They’re only with me half the time, so I do what matters most — I make the time with my zen masters count.