Brian RumaoJanuary 22, 2026
Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear?
Lao Tzu
I learned a lot during my consulting days, drinking from the proverbial firehouse in my early 20s. I remember getting feedback from a senior manager after one meeting with a client, who asked me a question I wasn’t sure about. I responded: “It’s a good question, I don’t know but I’ll find out and get back to you.”
My manager later told me: Never say “I don’t know.” McKinsey consultants, after all, are paid precisely to know. And the last thing we’d want is the client thinking otherwise. She counseled me to instead say, “it’s not clear.” It’s more neutral — suggesting the answer isn’t known yet — not just by me, but perhaps not by anyone. It’s still the truth, phrased in a more innocuous, selfless way.
Now when I find myself in situations where I’m not certain about something, I refer back to that line: it’s not yet clear. It’s served me in parenting, relationships, and work too. The truth is on the way, awaiting its reveal. I picture a foggy windshield. The answer is already out there — I just can’t see it yet. Sometimes I reach for the wipers, other times I wait for the defroster, and sometimes I just sit there until the mist fades on its own. Clarity comes. It always does.