November 21, 2025
Self-esteem is the ability to see yourself as a flawed individual and still hold yourself in high regard.
Esther Perel
When I was younger, I used to think I had to be perfect in order to be loved. Therefore, I was perfect. There could be no other way. I was infallible. And when you’re infallible, you don’t take ownership of mistakes. You don’t apologize. There’s no need, of course. You’ve done nothing wrong, because you can do no wrong.
It took me a while to shed this skin (some would call it armor). I realized that nobody really wants me to be perfect. They just want me to be me. And it turns out, I wanted to be me too. I just thought I wasn’t worthy of love if I were only me, fallible me. But how wrong I was.
The rough edges, the messiness, the failures and mistakes and misgivings - they are not meant to be discarded or hidden. They are meant to be. Simply. That’s what makes any of us human, and what makes any human worthy of love and redemption. So now I’ve learned to own who I am. It’s the privilege of a lifetime, and I hope you feel that way about yourself too.